And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
