Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
