You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
