Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
