At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So squirting runs in the family.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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