You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
