Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
