nut hugger
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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