So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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