i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
