I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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