It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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