Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i've created a new STD.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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