She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
