Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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