I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
bring money and cleavage
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
