HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
