it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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