Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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