just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
