i just had sex bonerless
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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