Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
