that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We need to rekindle our bromance
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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