Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
