somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
