sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
