You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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