And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
