the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
