i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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