i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
