is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your cock deserves a montage
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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