I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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