We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
