my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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