Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
