My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
