Pants 0. Shit 1.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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