U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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