her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
