i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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