...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
