Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
