Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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