U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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