Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
