she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
