I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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