you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
