Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
